


What if

by KasaiGin



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Soonhoon Fest Round 1, i don't know what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 09:11:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8050573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KasaiGin/pseuds/KasaiGin
Summary: Soonyoung is willing to make the what ifs come true... Once he is able to bring Jihoon back to him.





	What if

**Author's Note:**

> This is my fic for the 1st round of In the Rain (Prompt #20: What if - EXO).  
> I'm not sure of what this story is (I lost control of it at some point), but here it is.

Soonyoung entered the café, searching for a familiar black haired man. The person he was looking for was sitting at a small table in a corner of the establishment, holding a cup of coffee with both hands, probably trying to warm up since it was the apex of winter. Soonyoung ordered a coffee at the counter and sat in front of the man. Neither of them said a word, staying in a silence that was a bit uncomfortable. The waitress arrived with the coffee and silence remained until Soonyoung took a few sips of his hot beverage.

“You must be wondering why I called you here.” It was the first thing Seungcheol said. “I guess you might not want to talk to me since you probably hate me, but we need to talk”.

“You’re only half right. I am, indeed, wondering why we’re here, but I don’t hate you”.

Seungcheol furrowed his brows, confused. “So you like me? You have no reason for that. I am…”

“You are with the man I love, I know. But I have no reason to hate you”.

“I don’t understand you”.

“You make him smile like the angel he is.” Soonyoung had a small and a bit sad smile in his face.

Seungcheol kept quiet for a few seconds and drank some of his coffee before speaking. “We need to talk about Jihoon”.

The concern was quite visible in Soonyoung’s face when he asked: “What’s the matter?”

“We…” Seungcheol cleared his throat before completing the sentence. “We’re getting married”. When he got no response, the older one continued. “I got a job offer from a company in China and I’ll take Jihoon with me after the marriage.”

Soonyoung wanted to scream. He wanted to shout to the entire world that Seungcheol couldn’t take Jihoon away, but a part of him knew he had no right to do it. After all, Jihoon wasn’t his; Soonyoung had already let another man stay with him.

“Well, I hope you’re both happy.” His words were honest, but he didn’t manage to smile, so it all seemed somehow false.

“That’s why I’m here. I don’t think we can be happy while he clearly still thinks about you.”

“What should I do, tell him to move on?” Soonyoung laughed bitterly. “I can’t do that.”

“I know, and I’m not asking you to. Actually, I want you to do the exact opposite thing.” After taking a deep breath, he continued. “Tell me about you two.”

“Why would you want that?”

“All I want is Jihoon to be happy. I need to know if he’ll be happier with you or if I should take him with me and make him forget you. To make this decision, I need to know if he was happy with you.”

Soonyoung stared at the other man for a minute or less before grabbing his cup of no more hot coffee and taking a sip. “It’s going to be a long story.”

“I have time.”

 

 

 

Soonyoung was pretty used to frat parties; he attended one after almost every exam he had. He was used to loud music and full house and Seokmin getting drunk (he was also used to drag him to their dorm after). However, he found something – someone – he had never seen in any party before.

Jihoon, unlike Soonyoung, wasn’t used to any party thing. He didn’t like parties, but his friends did not care, so there he was: sitting on a couch with an untouched beer in his hand, looking like he would rather be dead than attending that party.

Truth be told, Jihoon had plans for that night. Those plans included sleeping until noon to recover from the minimal amount of hours he was able to sleep during the exams week. But his friends were against Jihoon’s plans and dragged him to that crowded house.

“You look like you’re ready to murder someone.” Soonyoung talked casually while sitting next to Jihoon.

“Maybe I am. You’ll never know.”

Jihoon thought the blond guy would go away after that, but he just chuckled. “I’m Soonyoung and I assume you don’t want to be here.”

“You’re right.” Jihoon took a sip of his beverage and made a face after; it was warm and had an awful taste.

“Follow me; we’ll get you something better than that.” Soonyoung pointed at the beer and got up. Jihoon followed him, without knowing exactly why. “Don’t I get to know your name?”

“Not now. After I drink something, maybe.”

Soonyoung didn’t have to wait for the other to drink because they found Seokmin on their way to the kitchen – and, surprisingly to Soonyoung and Jihoon, the younger boy knew both of them.

“There you are Soon- and Jihoon? You two know each other?”

“Well, _Jihoon_ and I”, Soonyoung let the name roll off his mouth, looking at the smaller boy while doing it, “just met.”

“I was about to introduce you two, so my life’s easier now. Let’s go to the yard, the others are playing there.”

Jihoon discovered that he and Soonyoung had more friends in common than he would imagine. They sat side by side on the grass, watching as the others drank and played stupid games they’d probably regret in the next morning when alcohol effects would be gone.

“How come I’ve never seen you before when we know the same people?” Soonyoung asked and Jihoon shrugged.

“I’m not a huge fan of parties.”

“Our Jihoon wanted to stay at home and _sleep_.” Jeonghan sat by Soonyoung’s side, talking in a way that made the idea seem like the most stupid thing on the planet.

“It’s a place full of unknown people that I have absolutely no intention to talk to and most of them want a one night stand to fuck with in some corner of the house and never see again after this night.”

“Are you against one night stands or what?” Soonyoung asked.

“I’m against people who moan the wrong names.”

“Bad past experience,” Jeonghan said in Soonyoung’s ear. It was supposed to be a whisper, but it was loud enough for Jihoon to hear.

“That’s awful. I’d never do such thing.” Jihoon was not sure of why Soonyoung said the last part. “I propose a toast.”

“To what?” Jihoon frowned. Soonyoung only smiled.

“To new friends and people moaning the right names.” Soonyoung held his bottle closer to the smaller man and he didn’t have to wait too much for Jihoon to make their bottles collide slightly, making a small noise.

 

 

“Hello, Jisoo.” Soonyoung greeted the man with a smile after the door was opened.

“It’s three in the morning, what are you- is he in an alcoholic coma?” His eyes widened after seeing Seokmin, who was carried by Minghao and Wonwoo.

“Nah, he’s just sleepy. He’ll be fine in the morning. So, can we-”

He didn’t need to finish the phrase; Jisoo was already letting them in. “Just don’t be too noisy, Hansol is sleeping.”

Jisoo’s apartment was the place they usually went after parties; the American boy had a heart too big to let his friends outside. Jihoon was the only one who didn’t know Jisoo yet, the other boys being already used to invading the American’s space after parties.

Soonyoung entered first, holding Jihoon’s wrist and guiding him to the living room. Minghao and Wonwoo got inside and Jisoo soon was helping them with Seokmin, the four of them disappearing to some place inside the apartment.

Jihoon saw himself alone in the living room with Soonyoung. He thought about all the new things that were happening to him that night: he went to a party, something he didn’t want to do, and didn’t dislike it completely; he talked more with a man he’d just met than he talked to all his friends during the past week, due to the exams; he followed the said man he’d just met to an apartment of a man he didn’t know without thinking twice and trusting blindly on that guy (okay, his friends were following, that made the whole trusting thing easier). All of those were things that no one, not even Jihoon himself, would expect him to do.

“Are you sleepy?” Soonyoung asked, distracting Jihoon from his thoughts. He was whispering and Jihoon whispered back although he wasn’t sure why.

“No,” and it was not a lie; even if it was three in the morning and the past week had been hectic, Jihoon was wide awake.

“Let’s stay outside then.” Soonyoung opened the glass doors that led to the balcony and sat in a chair, followed by Jihoon, who sat by his side.

“Who are Jisoo and this Hansol we’re not supposed to wake up?”

“They’re friends with me and the other guys. Two Americans, cousins; Jisoo’s finishing college and Hansol just started. Like someone I know,” Soonyoung looked at Jihoon and smiled, “Jisoo doesn’t like parties, so we always come here when we’re all too drunk and too tired to go to our own homes. And Hansol never goes to any party because of his overly protective cousin.” Soonyoung rolled his eyes, showing he disapproved that.

Jihoon just nodded and stared at the sky. There were almost no cars on the streets, the city being quiet in a way it would never be during other times of the day. He wouldn’t be able to say for how long he sat there in silence until he felt Soonyoung’s fingers on his cheek, a touch so light that almost couldn’t be felt.

“You’re beautiful.” Soonyoung’s voice was low as he spoke.

“You’re drunk.”

“A little bit, maybe.” He smiled, fingers never leaving Jihoon’s cheek. “But I’m serious when I say this, you’re beautiful. I’d love to kiss you right now.”

“Ok, I’m pretty sure you’re _absurdly_ drunk. You should sleep.”

“I don’t want to,” Soonyoung whined and pouted, and that made Jihoon smile.

“Let’s find a place for you to sleep, c’mon.”

Soonyoung doesn’t kiss Jihoon that night, but he’s ok with that. He truly believes he’ll have plenty of time to do it later.

 

 

 

 

Soonyoung was right.

He didn’t have to wait too long for his first kiss with Jihoon. That first led to a second, which led to a third, which led to both of them losing count. Jihoon started going to more parties because that meant being with Soonyoung, and Soonyoung stopped going to all the parties and going out with Jihoon instead. Their friends told them they were a perfect couple, a perfect match, a perfect combination; no one could understand Soonyoung like Jihoon and vice versa.

However, they weren’t dating.

Everyone else disagreed with them, no matter how many times they both said it. After all, they weren’t kissing anyone else; they went out on dates and did a lot of _couple stuff_ , as Seokmin put it, so they were dating.

At some point, Jihoon and Soonyoung got tired of denying and just let their friends say whatever they wanted to. But they still weren’t dating.

Soonyoung wanted to change that. He wanted to refer to Jihoon as his boyfriend. But _something_ changed the course of things.

And that something was actually _someone_ : Seungcheol.

It was a party like any other: loud music and full house and drunk people doing things they’d regret in the morning after. But this time, Soonyoung couldn’t find Jihoon anywhere. When he finally found the smaller male, he saw something he wasn’t prepared to see.

Jihoon was kissing someone else.

Soonyoung barely knew Seungcheol; Jeonghan and Jisoo mentioned him one or two times but they had never talked. Apparently, he had done more than just talking with Jihoon.

Insecurity hit Soonyoung like a strong wave. He didn’t know for how long they had been doing that; if Jihoon had been seeing Seungcheol while he wasn’t with Soonyoung. Soonyoung noticed he had tears on his face and wiped them, leaving the kitchen.

He hadn’t realized how much he loved Jihoon until that moment.

Walking without exactly knowing where he was going to, Soonyoung just stopped when he collided with someone.

“Hey, Soonyoung!” Seokmin was grinning but his grin disappeared when he saw the other’s eyes, shining with unshed tears. “What’s going on?”

“Can we go somewhere else?”

Seokmin led Soonyoung to one of the bedrooms of the house and let Soonyoung cry on his shoulder until he fell asleep.

 

 

 

“And that’s it,” Soonyoung said as he finished his story. “I woke up in the next day with a text from Jihoon saying we shouldn’t meet again and things came back to what they were before: Jihoon never attending parties and one completely oblivious to the other’s existence. A few days after I heard that you two were dating.”

“I think there’s a misunderstanding here,” Seungcheol said and Soonyoung frowned. “Jihoon wasn’t kissing me, I kissed him. I had been trying to convince him to date me for a long time, but he always refused because he said he had you.”

Soonyoung blinked once, twice, before talking. “So why… Why he said we shouldn’t see each other anymore?”

“That was a surprise for me too, back then. After I kissed him, he pushed me and asked me to stay away from him. A few minutes later, he came back to me and told he had thought better and wanted to give me a chance. He saw Seokmin with you in the room and he supposed you two had done… Well, _things_.”

Soonyoung stood in silence for a while.

“I can’t believe it was all a misunderstanding…”

“Go talk to him,” Seungcheol said. “Try to solve this. If he doesn’t want to be with you… We’ll go away.”

Soonyoung thanked Seungcheol and got up. He needed to talk to Jihoon as soon as possible, but first, he needed help.

 

 

 

“Okay, we’re here,” Seungkwan said after sitting on the couch, Seokmin by his side. “What’s the big problem that requires the legendary BooSeokSoon to reunite?”

“It’s Jihoon.”

“Jihoon, Lee Jihoon? The Jihoon from college? The Jihoon who’s with Seungcheol? The-”

“Yes, Seokmin, that Jihoon.” Soonyoung got up and started to walk around the living room. “Seungcheol said he wanted to talk to me today, I met him and he said Jihoon still loves me, and then he said I can try to have him back but I don’t know what to do! I finally have a chance to bring Jihoon back to me and I’m totally lost!”

“First of all, you should stop walking in circles, you’re making me dizzy,” Seungkwan said.

“Just go there and tell him to choose you,” Seokmin added. “It can’t be that hard.”

“But how on earth am I going to do that?” Soonyoung stopped walking. “Do you expect me to go there and say _‘Hey Jihoon, I want you to pick me up’_ and dance Pick Me?”

“It could work, you dance well,” Seokmin said with a large grin on his face.

“We can go with you and dance Catallena.” Seungkwan was grinning too.

Soonyoung sat at the armchair again and glared at the couple sitting on the couch. “I’m trying to be serious here; you two should be helping me.”

“We are giving you precious options that you should treasure. But seriously, how hard can it be? If Seungcheol is right and Jihoon does love you, all you have to do is go there and tell him you love him.”

“Seungkwan is right, it can’t be too complicated.”

Soonyoung sighed. “I’ll talk to him. Actually, I’m going right now.”

 

 

 

“Soonyoung?” The boy was surprised after seeing who had knocked on the door.

“Hey, Chan. You’ve grown up.” Soonyoung ruffled Chan’s hair and the boy smiled.

“Yeah, we haven’t met for some time… What are you doing here?”

“Is Jihoon at home?”

“Hyung’s at his room, packing his stuff…” Soonyoung could tell Chan was not happy with that.

“You don’t want him to go, right?” Soonyoung asked and Chan nodded. “Well, I’ll tell you something: I don’t want him to go too.”

“I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but… Can you make him stay?”

“That’s why I’m here.” Soonyoung smiled a bit. “I’ll try my best.”

Soonyoung entered the apartment, breathing deeply before going to Jihoon’s room.

He entered the room without knocking, startling Jihoon.

“What are you doing here?” Jihoon asked. He stood in the middle of the room, a folded shirt in hand and an open suitcase on top of his bed.

Soonyoung closed the door before answering. “I can’t let you go.”

“If I go away or not it’s none of your business.” Jihoon turned to the suitcase and continued to pack his things.

“That night. The party, the last one you went. I know what you think that happened, but it was nothing like that.” Jihoon continued to pack without looking at Soonyoung. “I was crying on Seokmin’s shoulder because I saw you with Seungcheol. We both misunderstood things.”

“This doesn’t matter now, Soonyoung, I’m going away…”

"Look me in the eyes and say you love him. If you can do it, I'll let you go."

"Why do I have to tell you that?"

"You don't want to say it because you know that I can tell if you're lying just looking at your face. You don't love him, you love me. And we both know."

“I can love him.” Jihoon closed his suitcase with a loud thump and turned around to look at Soonyoung. “I can love him, but I need you to _stay away from me_.”

“What if you never love him? You shouldn’t even be with him.” Soonyoung walked a step forward, getting closer to Jihoon. “I was going to ask you to be my boyfriend that night… What if things were different? Now you would be packing your things to live with me.”

“You’re only talking about _what if_ s, Soonyoung…”

“These things don’t have to be only _what if_ s.” Soonyoung got closer to Jihoon, holding his face with both hands to make sure he wouldn’t look away. “I love you. Even more than I loved before. I can make you happy and you know that. Can I have another chance?”

“If anything like that happens again-”

“It won’t. I promise.”

Jihoon breathed deeply. “Okay. Let’s try.”


End file.
